I want a moustache, dammit. I wanna look like Burt Reynolds.

Okay, no, I really don't want to look like Burt Reynolds, but I do want a Palm Treo 700p smartphone.



Now, I'm definitely not one to love gadgety-type things like iPods or GPS systems or pagers, but I really think this little gadget will improve my quality of life by at least 30 percent. I've crunched the numbers, people - 30 percent. (I'm still working on the pie chart for it; then I plan on creating a PowerPoint slideshow.)

Anyway, here's my story: I had a Palm PDA for a few years, which was awesome. I kept track of everything on there, and without it, I would forget pretty much everything. I actually used it more to keep track of events passed and details about those events than I did to keep track of future appointments and such. However, the PDA eventually broke. I lost about a years' worth of info when it froze in the middle of a recreational Tetris session, and I, thus, froze in fear, and not knowing what to do (I most certainly didn't want to hit the hard reset button! I knew I would lose everything!), I slowly put it down, slowly backed away, and let the battery run out, hoping that when I recharged it, its equivalent to a brain-freeze would be gone and all would be well. However, when I turned it back on the next morning, it had done its own hard reset, and there was absolutely no info on there. And I had been a bad hot-syncher for a long time, meaning that there was only minimal backed-up info on my Palm Desktop computer program; so I ended up losing a years' worth of stuff. ::biting clenched fist in pain::

And plus, I have a really old cellphone that I hate.



So I want a Palm Treo 700p, not because I think it's a cool gadget that I want to show off to people whom I want to impress, but because my brain doesn't work correctly, and I need an external piece of computerized equipment to compensate for the brain power I lack. If only they could find a way to plug it into people's brains...

Anyway, the thing's expensive. I don't like spending money. I haven't upgraded my cellphone... well, ever. I know that Nextel/Sprint/whoever-the-hell-my-service-is-with offers phone upgrades at certain points during your ongoing subscription. I get confused about all that stuff. I try to figure out the cost of buying a new PDA plus the cost of buying a new cellphone with functionality I actually enjoy. I go to Consumer Reports to see what these 'smartphones' do. (Ooo, I see that the Palm Treo 700p is a best buy!) They say that the price is a random $338. I go to the Palm website to get some info. They tell me I can get the 700p for, I don't know, anywhere between $299 and $649, depending on mail-in rebates and instant savings and what service you buy and blah blah blah. I go to the Nextel/Sprint/whoever-you-are website to get some info. They tell me I can get it for anywhere between $249 and $649 depending on mail-in rebates and instant savings and a new 2-year agreement and blah blah blah. So I'm all confused, and I don't understand how a $650 piece of equipment an somehow magically get reduced by half or more.

Jay takes me to a new little store called iMo. Independent Mobile, I guess. Apparently they can get access to many different carriers and can sell many different services and brands of phones and can serve you free coffee and Coca-Cola. (You had me at "Would you like a Coke?") I was super excited, because the sales guy was very nice, very knowledgeable, and said that he would contact my service provider (whether it be Nextel or Sprint or the Wizard of Oz) to see if I could get access to the "special deals" and rebates and upgrades. Matthew assured me he would either e-mail me the next day or call me with some more info.

I never heard back.

Jay and I went back about a week later and spoke to a different person; this time, a very friendly and sincere young lady named Kate. I like Kates. Always had good experiences with people named Kate. I like where this is going. Kate assured me that she, too, would do the legwork and contact my service provider and see what she could do, but it would take a while. I figured "a while" meant a week; she said, "No, it'll take like 40 minutes, but I don't want you guys to have to wait around that long." So she, too, assured me that she would e-mail me or call me the next day, or in two days, at the latest, with some follow-up info.

Again, I never heard back.

Which brings me to a related, yet slightly tangential, complaint about the issue of accountability. Numerous, numerous times in the past few months (which have been pretty tough for me work-wise), I have been prevented from accomplishing important tasks because the completion of the task requires someone to return a phone call to me. Not just work stuff, but life stuff, doctor stuff, car stuff, etc. And my God, it makes me so angry. I understand the whole Zen philosophy of 'don't have any expectations of others, because if you do, you'll be constantly disappointed' and 'expect nothing, and be pleasantly surprised at something' and all that horse doodie. But come on, I'm not expecting them to get me a $299 Treo 700p or anything! Is it too much to ask to expect people to do the basic requirements of their job? I mean, really? Is it? Because if it is, then man, I need to join some sort of Utopian society.

Anyway, sorry. Yeah. So I would like a Treo 700p, but I'm finding it difficult to figure out how to get it for a decent price. I'm scared to call my cellphone service provider, because I'm not good with remembering when I signed up or what phone Jay has or how many minutes we use or anything, and I'm sure they'll be expecting me to know all that stuff. So here I sit, typing away my woes, and in the meantime, Matthew and Kate are probably drinking free Cokes and not calling customers. ::le sigh::